Losing Hope

I went to church last night and was able to talk to a mother I hadn't seen in a long time. She expressed her sense of hopelessness for her circumstances recently,such as several deaths in the family and continued trials and struggles with her son. She said for the first time she had lost hope. That haunted me as I tried to sleep last night and I have thought of it many times throughout the day today.

I thought about Psa. 119:74, "May those who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word." I remember the times I was tempted to give up hope but God's word always breathed new hope into me as I read it, actually no, devoured it. Used it to get my next breath. I remember Henry Blackaby praying with this broken hearted mother and asking God to help me to never give up! That prayer carried me many nights when I didn't know where our son was. When I didn't know if he was dead or alive, in jail or in a drug house.

I prayed and prayed down on my face at times in intercession for our son. I chose to stand in the gap believing God could and would answer my plea in His timing, in His own way, and for His own purposes. I chose to believe his promise to bring our son home from the enemies camp in Jeremiah 31 and that He would restore what the locust had stripped from us in Joel 2, and that he would change the desolate land into a garden of Eden one day from Ezekiel 36. I urge you not to give up on your child, your life. Don't let Satan oppress you. God is the Victor. He has already won the victory. Hang tight my friend. God has not forgotten you. Your hope is in Him and Him alone.

Sandra

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Please pray for Ollie who is one of our prodigals to stand firm and avoid temptation. She is 22 days clean today and just passed her surprise drug test. We are so proud of her.

Lets lift up each family member who struggles everyday to keep their families going in light of their loved ones absence. It is so hard for the wives to keep persevering with their jobs and maintaining their sanity in light of their situation.

Sandra

Join

My struggles

We were able to go out to join with our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ today in worship after 2 weeks of snow and treacherous roads. After worship my grandaughter, Shelbi and I joined the first impressions luncheon at Calvary West. I have always considered myself to be outgoing and friendly but I can tell you I am struggling somewhat still in our new setting. After 20 some years we are worshipping at a new location and there are honestly some times I find that I feel like the outsider. Maybe this is because most of the congregation is younger, but I am just being honest here. I have connected with some of course but don't feel like I have a real connection here. Once again, I am just being honest.

So I say to myself, if I feel this way maybe others feel it too. Our daughter often had trouble making close friends in her school years, and I use to tell her you must be friendly to have friends. Maybe this is what the Lord is showing me. Would I be more comfortable back at the main campus with ole friends and familiar surroundings like so many my age are or does God still have me here in this place for His purposes. I must continue to follow His leading. Now mind you I am not saying folks aren't friendly, they are. I am just saying I don't seem to have made my connection with folks who might miss me if I wasn't there. Am I feeling insecure? Maybe I need to read Beth's new book!!!! Which by the way I am purchasing!

Anyway, I had a great time with 2 of my grandchildren and my daughter after church. We always laugh and pick and it encourages my soul. The grandchildren are growing up so quickly. I love making memories with them.

Please pray for Matt who is dabbling with alcohol and medicines. His grandmother has been raising him while his Dad is in prison and Mom on drugs. Pray for the generational curse to be broken.

Please pray for Austin who is in rebellion.

Please pray for the Prodigal Support Group on Friday nights at our office downtown.

Sandra

Valentine Wedding

I was priveleged to attend a co-workers wedding today which I can tell you brought back lots of memories. Jimmy and I were married this valentine's day 40 years ago. I think back to that time of wedful bliss and know I didn't have a clue what I was saying at age 21 as I spoke the vows that day. Most young people don't, for better, for worse, in sickness and health, richer or poorer. We never dream there will be sickness, and we just know we will not struggle with finances, or the WORSE of life.

It is because of the vow of commitment and because of the love for each other that hopefully matures that we are able to hang in together when the worse's come, when we are down with sickness, or when the stuggles come financially. That's where the rubber meets the road and we chose to stay or hit the road. Most today don't seem to have the commitment to stay. They proclaim if my spouse does this or that I won't hang in there, but then comes the test.....What will they chose to do, the hard thing or the easy thing.

God says it is better not to vow than to break that vow. Yes, there will be WORSE days and yes, sometimes we might need to hit the road or ask them too but hopefully we are able to hold on together and allow the Lord to restore and heal us.

That is what I prayed today for this couple, that they will stay committed to their vows not only to each other but to the children involved to whom they vowed to be the best parent they can be. Innocent children. Multiplied reasons to keep the vows they made today. I pray that one day they can celebrate their 40th anniversary together.

I have learned so much in our relationship over the years. It hasn't always been easy but through it all we have hung together in the joyous times and the challenging times. I am sure there have been times we have wanted to give up (let's just be honest) but praise God we never did. He has been the tie that has bound us together and to His dear self. Commitment----that is the key.

Let's choose to keep our commitment to our Lord to remain pure, holy, and blameless in His sight. Let's never give up even when there are things He allows we don't understand in our lives. Even when we are poor, or in bad health, for better or worse. Lets learn contentment as Paul did. In whatever circumstances we are! He is the Bride-Groom Lover of our souls. He never means us harm, meaning ALL things to work together for our good and His glory.

Sandra

I am a big cry baby!

I decided to tackle a chore today that I have been needing to do for a while. That is to organize my books. I try to display them by author so I can go right to the one I need but the shelves get filled up and I find myself sticking them any ole where. So today I pulled out some, dusted, and tried to once again get them in order. I decided to go to my bedside table and reshelf most of the 10 I had accumulated over time there. I tend to have several going at a time.

In the process I reminensced over some I hadn't picked up in a while. I picked up the books Dr. Corts had written. In the front of one he had written a note and autographed it to Jimmy. In the pages of another I found a note he had written me years ago assuring me of his prayers for our son and the response to a letter of concern I had. He took the time to write me a long letter and expressed his concerns over the same thing and asked me to pray for him as he led our church. I cried!

I picked up a book from my mother, Keepsakes of a Mother's Heart and skimmed it. I cried!

I found a card written by my dear friend Debbie at a time we were struggling with our son's rebellion. I was encouraged for the gift of friends. I cried!

I ran across a book, "Thank you to a very special Mother" from my daughter Melissa who had written and highlighted it throughout with words of endearment to me, this mother who failed so many times. I REALLY cried!!!!!

I ran across books I hadn't looked at in a while and wished I had more time to read through them all. I cherish the books I have and love them all. I try to share them with friends and therefore am missing some which I may neve get back. I won't cry over that.

I also got out my old water fountain, dusted it off and have it in operation. Forgot how soothing the sound of running water is. I sat down in my rocking chair by the window and got a booklet out written by Jack Hayford, "The Finger of God". Think I will take a time to read over it and enjoy the quiet and solitude. Maybe I won't cry over this one, but who knows. God may show me a truth or call to me from the pages-----I hope so. Speak Lord for I am listening.

Sandra

Rejoice

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials for we know that they are good for us----they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady. Then, when that happens, we are able to hold our heads hight no matter what happens and know that all is well, for we know how dearly God loves us, and we feel this warm love everywhere within us because God has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love." Romans 5:3-5.

What a reminder to me to praise the Lord when the problems come because we know they are for our good. I hope we can all see that and learn to rejoice in Him through the trial. Lets do like our examples in scripture and begin praising Him in the middle of our issue and see Him work in a mighty way as we praise Him. He goes before us to fight our battles. Lets just make the enemy real mad as he seeks to destroy us, by singing a new song to our Father who rescues us each and every time from the enemies clutches. He allows us to go through just long enough for us to learn the lesson He has for us and to accomplish His purpose.

As I look out my window at the beauty of the snow I see Him marching through the tops of the trees. It is action---He has arisen from His throne to go forth in victory on our behalf. Lets revel in that as we are once again snowed in. He is calling you closer dear friend. Take the opportunity to rest in Him, without complaint. Be content where He has you!

Sandra